An Open Letter to the Doctor Who Gave up on Me

Dear Doctor,

Before I start, I want you to know I’m not even mad. You’re not the first or probably the last to turn over my case. The moment that you gave me the pity look, and said “you will never get better, you will have a feeding tube the rest of your life, and I can’t help you.” Tears immediately welled up in my eyes, and my stomach sank to my feet. That was the worst feeling, when you gave up on me. 20171209_1934461900083529.png

When you walked out the door, you didn’t see it, but my mom grabbed my hand and said “we will not settle for that answer. We are leaving.”Let me ask you, Doctor, I wouldn’t wish my situation on my worst enemy, but if your child was in my position, would you give up so easily? I may not be your daughter, but I am someone else’s daughter, I am a sister, and someone’s friend. I had a life of my own until I got sick. I know I shouldn’t put so much hope into one appointment, but when you go through the absolute horrendous year and a half of your life, you can’t help but think maybe this is it. This could be the light at the end of the extremely dark tunnel. Maybe this appointment will be the one to change my life. But it wasn’t. I’m not mad at you, however, I had a lot of faith in you. I’ll tell you something Doctor, your appointment didn’t break me. I wiped away those tears and picked myself back up. Our appointment lit a fire in me to not only prove to you, but myself that I will get through this. I will find a new normal life. I won’t be on a feeding tube the rest of my life. I will find someone to help me. Just because you gave up, doesn’t mean I will. I deserve to have as good of a life as anyone else. So I thank you, for our appointment. If it weren’t for you, I probably wouldn’t have as much motivation, to prove to everyone else that I will win.


The girl who won’t quit

167 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Doctor Who Gave up on Me”

  1. Brilliant post! I’m sorry you had to go through that appointment, but I’m glad you’ve been able to gain a positive from it by using it to fuel your motivation. 🙂 You will prove him wrong. 🙂 xxx

  2. Never ever give hope and never ever quit! God bless you, you are an inspiration to all of us! Hugs and love to you dear friend. You are always in my prayers. 😊💛

  3. Oh my sweet girl, you are a precious and beloved child of God. NEVER GIVE UP, and yes, let this be the motivation you need to find a better doctor, diagnostician, and human being. Much love and prayer,
    The girl who DIDN”T QUIT…..

  4. Giving up is not a option. I am by your side and we will not give up fighting. Stay strong my warrior.

  5. Praying for you. Never lose hope. I know what it’s like to get discouraging news from doctors. Always believe in the report of the Lord. – Sherline 🙂

  6. See, I read that a little different than most will. The doctor who gave up on you did you a favor. He freed you up so you could find the right doctor…. you could have spent years with someone who was throwing darts at a dart board in your illness. It’s not easy to look at it like that, but that’s the best way. I wish you well in your search.

  7. Thank for your post. I’m on a feeding tube too, and may be for the rest of my life. My doctors don’t try very hard to figure out why I never get better. I have CVID, Collagenous colitis, depression and anxiety. They think if I can keep from dropping below my current weight of 75 pounds, that I’m stable.
    Recently, the new port-a-cath in my chest(for infusions), got really red and painful, and none of my doctors knew anything about ports. The surgeon who placed it said he didn’t do follow ups, so I felt lost. After 3 weeks of IV anti-biotics and 2 weeks of oral, it was still red, so my GP sent me to a dermatologist. The dermatology PA immediately called the surgeon and insisted that he see me, since he was the expert. Her efforts paid off. I met with him on Friday and am scheduled for a possible removal surgery tomorrow. He’s the expert and can tell me if it’s safe to leave the port in and use it.
    When none of my doctors knew what to do, I felt so lost, like they had given up on me.
    I was really glad to read your post because I see that you are not giving up either. Thank you!!

    1. Wow. I’m so sorry to hear about your trials. I know what you mean, it’s hard to know what to do when your doctors don’t know what to do. I hope you get some more answers. Thank you for reading! Best wishes, and don’t give up!

  8. Wow girl. You have an astounding amount of courage. Love that attitude! Keep it up! God will help you through everything. Thanks for this post!

  9. Fantastic post.Congratulations on your breakthrough from lamb into strongest wolf.I don’t know how many people will give up in your case.

    And i would like to send a note to mister Doctor who treats people.When payback knocks on your door,nothing will defend you from that evil.Everything in life upside down.One moment you are on top,the second one bottom not letting you move.

    You go girl future is waiting for you 😉 .

  10. It to bad that they have lost the answer to your problem but with your spirit and the support group that you have you will win

  11. A doctor is not God, just a human being doing the best he can according to his faith and knowledge. How wise not to hold this against him and even wiser not to accept “it’s impossible” for an answer. Western medicine is a very limited part of healing. My granddaughter was told “it’s impossible to recover from diabetes 1. Just accept you’ll need multiple insulin injections every day for the rest of your life. They were wrong! Due to a mixture of prayer and diet she amazed the doctors by going 8 months totally insulin free. She now is temporarily taking a low dose evening shot due to due to a growing spurt but hopes to again remove that when it is safe to do so.
    Never give up, but maybe extend your search outside normal western medicine, while it often offers a “quick fix” many longterm natural cures can slowly effect “the impossilbe” and of course God can cure anything – no limits there.

  12. Wonderful post! I agree with you 100000%! My GP and even the neurologist who diagnosed me told me not to try HSCT to treat my MS, but I did, and I am happy each day that I did. You do what you need to do for you.

  13. Bravo – never give up. I work in healthcare, and although there are many, many extremely good physicians, it is becoming more common that the easy road is being taken far too often. My opinion only on this statement- An overloaded healthcare system is partly to blame. The system is broken and will continue to be broken for the foreseeable future – fixing it means dismantling the big players and special interest groups that make millions on the backs of folks like yourself. Find a physician that takes care of you and you trust as much as you can.

  14. It’s definitely a constant battle. I had two Rheumies blow me off before I was diagnosed by an Internist and then he changed his mind, and another Rheumie diagnosed me. Keep fighting.

  15. I am thankful you didn’t quit. What a horrible thing for the doctor to say. No doctor knows all. You have shown great courage. I am sending you lots of light and love from Canada! Blessings Roland 🙂

  16. W piece of shit doctor, and I wouldn’t even call this person that. That’s why do many people go for second opinions or don’t trust doctors at all. By the grace of God you made it in spite of this fool passing himself off as a doctor. Good that your mom was there to give you support. Keep on fighting, girlfriend . God swill get you through it and continue to do so in spite of this fool in the white coat .

    1. Thank you so much! Unfortunately it’s hard to pick out the good ones from the bad ones anymore. It’s a process! Thank you, God will definitely get me through. Best wishes!

  17. Fantastic positivity!
    I salute your courage though.
    God has better plans for you. Don’t ever lose hope!
    I myself have gone through a lot of pain consulting every Doctor I could in the past 7-8 years for a problem which invisible to public eyes but is actually a real problem for me. I can very well understand your situation. 🙂
    The point is – people don’t understand until it happens to them.
    May God give you more and more strength to fight this, you brave girl.
    Keep the spirit high!😇

  18. Keep going! you can live to the full, if you want it badly enough. Search for answers. Search for remedies. willpower to never quit.

  19. I’m standing here with you, will stay however the road takes you. You’re tough, educated, above all determineded. Life may not return to you normal state, everyday is a step to a better living environment. You are stronger than you knew and will show others new ways to live. Hugs m

  20. What an emotional day that was, I’m sure, and I’m sorry you and your mom had to endure his lack of optimism. I’ve been there with my daughter, so I know how your mom felt…she is your advocate just as much as you are. We have to fight for ourselves because sometimes doctors are simply doing their jobs and they may stop at a certain point where we’re not willing to. So glad you have that awesome attitude because you are an inspiration to others going through similar situations.
    Thank you for sharing and keep going strong. You owe it to yourself and those who love you.

    1. Wow, thank you so much! That means a lot to me. You’re exactly right my mom is definetely my advocate and she’s not giving up, so it’s pretty amazing to have and we just have to keep moving forward. I’m so sorry to hear about your daughters trials but you all will get through it with an incredible bond. Thank you again, and best wishes!

  21. Hey, I didn’t know how else to let you know but wanted to say I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. I only found your blog recently but have loved every word. I know you already did a post back in October but I just wanted to recognise you for spreading such positivity!

  22. wow you are so strong. I could seriously feel a dull pain in my chest reading this – it takes a lot of courage to be fogiving to a doctor who acted like that. I hope you will allow me to be angry at that wretch cause this is despicable, but unfortunately how our world is.

    Much much power to you, and I hope things become wonderful for you….found your blog today looking forward to reading more of your writing.

    Best wishes

    1. Thank you so much. Unfortunately there are people in this World who are in their careers just to make money, not to help others. We just have to keep moving forward. Thank you so much,I’m glad you found me! Best wishes!

      1. Really glad to have found such a wonderfully strong person as u 🙂 keep writing the good word :))

  23. Unfortunately, not all doctors are equal. Some are better than others. I’d like to think that this one just knew his limitations. He knew HE couldn’t help you, giving you a chance to look for a more appropriate doctor for you. I know it must have hurt. But there is a silver lining. You could have wasted a long time on him, now you are able to look for the right one.

  24. I couldn’t agree more – Never Give Up.
    Your line, “Just because you gave up, doesn’t mean I will” says it all. Never give up and never forget that you truly do deserve a good life.

  25. He certainly could do with some work on his bedside manner. I love the fact that we pay these people! Anyway, keep proving him wrong – in fact, camp out on him so every time he comes out of his front door he can see how wrong he was.

  26. Yes!! Awesome share! It took me 25 years to find a doctor who wouldn’t give up. I could not be more appreciative for everything he did for me but mostly, just that he didn’t give up. He cared. I love this post ❤️

  27. The most important thing is that YOU don’t give up on yourself.
    Do your own search for natural treatment (it works so much better than traditional medicine!), and tell yourself regularly that you ARE going to make it!

  28. Honestly, I don’t know how you can do it. Just accept that the people who are meant to be helping you are giving up instead (I know, I’m bitter af). It’s a show of strength that you’re so willing to forgive and move on to the next step instead of dwelling.

  29. I had a similar situation with my scoliosis. When I was 13 a doctor told me if I didn’t have surgery right away I was going to die. Sure his words scared me, but it also made me more determined to find a non-surgical answer and to prove him wrong. And guess what.. I did! After mamy years of searching and not giving up I found a doctor who could help me. And 20 years later I’m not dead, never had surgery, healthy and active, and my non-surgical answer I found has actually helped my spine to straighten out which is unheard of. I say all this to say don’t give up! Keep fighting to find your answer. Keep searching. Your answer is out there. It might take awhile to find, but I know you will find it ❤️

    1. Wow, thank you for sharing your story!! That’s amazing that you didn’t give up and still succeeded! Thank you so much! I won’t give up, just have to keep moving forward! Best wishes! ❤

  30. In my own Journey, I walked away from medicine because they had no answers for me and those they did have I absolutely refused to allow to be done to me. Over the years I found how to heal myself through diet and through exercise. It is an ongoing process and yes I still do have days that are very difficult for me. But when a surgeon told me if I do not have further surgery I will end up paralyzed and in a wheelchair, I could not run out of that office faster. That was my wake-up point. Medicine does not have the answers for me. You have the answers for yourself. I wish you every success because I know exactly how you feel!

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences! I am starting to figure that out myself. You’re exactly right, you have the answers for yourself. Best of wishes! Thank you so much!

  31. Wow! That’s so sad and maddening that a medical professional would tell you something like that and give up on you! I’m glad you’re using his attitude to motivate you into proving how wrong he is rather than drag you down. That’s awesome! You go, girl! I’ll be praying the Lord will send the right people or other answers your way.

  32. Somebody had to say it — and thank you very much for this. Thank you for following EDEN IN BABYLON — Andy

  33. I need to thank you for this wonderful post. I’m sorry you had to go through this , these are the places where I feel humanity is just a ‘word’ unfamiliar to so many. But your post has also put that light into me ,to fight and no matter what to not stop fighting.This is something you will win because of your strong heart and determination.

    1. Wow, thank you so much. That means so much to me. I’m so happy to hear it has helped you. Thank you, I won’t stop fighting. You’ve got this. You deserve to win this fight as well. Stay strong and keep that wonderful spirit you have. Best of wishes!

  34. The Doctor gave up on me when I was 6 years old. He told my parents that I will not make it through the night. The bishop was called to my bed, my mum and my dad were there too. I received that last sacrement to live. But not only was my mum and dad at my bedside, but god the most high was there too. That little 6 year old girl made it through the night and she went on to the new dawn. And today that little 6 year old girl has lived 40 years of her life and having a wonderful 22 year old daughter before her eyes. And trust me you will live your life for as long as life have wanted you to live on this planet earth. No one can decide your fate. Enjoy your life and I wish you a Very Merry Christmas with lots of friends and your families by your side. Enjoy your festive season to the full!

    1. Wow, I’m so sorry you had to go through that but you are a strong person because of it. Thank you for sharing your story. I wish you a very beautiful Christmas and a year full of good health and happy days!

  35. So sorry that this doctor didn’t stay the course… 🙁 I do hope that you are able to find a doctor who has faith in you and your willingness to press on toward healing! I’m inspired by your “can do” attitude! Hang in there! I’m sure you will overcome much in 2018!

  36. Reblogged this on aBodyofHope and commented:
    I know I’ve already published 2 new blog posts today, but I have to share this incredible post by a newer blogger I’ve been following. I know everyone with a chronic illness will relate.

  37. Reblogged this on SWIMMING THROUGH THE WAVES and commented:
    ~ I wiped away those tears & picked myself back up ~

    This story hits right back home!!
    When the dr who told me I need a feeding tube, he was correct.. However he said it in a very harsh, threatening manner thinking my food will begin going down because it has “no reason” not to. After the one week given he’ll hear it’s going down.

    I wrote a chapter in my journal dedicated to all the many drs who gave up in me.. this dedication was done in October 2016 after the last failed appointment with a dr who called me to come to him.

    This dedication will be shared as time comes closer to that part..

    These words are so apt!

    Your appointment did not break me. I wiped those tears & picked myself back up.

    (My next post will be up tomorrow hopefully)
    Thank you very much to all my loyal readers who await posts so eagerly! Your support means everything 😊😊

      1. Pleasure 😊😊 I understand that any effort in creating awareness makes a difference for a more understanding world.
        That was very beautifully written!! Keep up the efforts
        It was an inspiration to myself & to my readers

  38. Good on you for writing this letter, girl! I can relate 100% and actually just finished writing my own “letter” that I’m editing before placing in on my blog.

    Love & Light! 🙂

  39. Hello,

    Thank you for liking my post. I read this post of yours because you listed it as your favorite…don’t ever give up.

    I hope your path has shifted and your journey has much more lite than darkness 🙂

  40. A lot of folks gave up on me when I was sick. But I kept going. I had Anorexia and anxiety and depression and trauma… not anymore. Thanks for visiting my blog ❤ Always keep going
    — Laurie

  41. I have this weird autoimmune disease that is typical for middle aged people. I was 19 at the time. For years, the doctors referred me to psychologists because they thought it was all in my head. Except I knew they were wrong. I would leave every office angry and frustrated and sometimes I would go home and cry for days because there were no answers anywhere for me. Then one day, two years later, I found a doctor who listened to me and I remember driving home that day crying and thanking the universe because somebody knew how to help me. Stay strong, there are goods ones out there.

  42. I love this one. The Physician’s Assistant that I had been seeing for a couple of years was finally the one who took the time to actually listen to me. I chose for my son and I to start seeing her because she went away to a big city to learn, but to practice she came back home. That told me that she cared about her community and would probably be a good listener. I was not wrong.

    She went through my medical records, ran the initial tests to rule out other conditions, but she was also the only one who put all of it together to come up with my fibromyalgia diagnosis. After 10 years I finally had some kind of answer. I could see that it was killing her that she didn’t know what else she could do for me except to refer me to a rheumatologist and pain management specialist. I was heart-broken, but also knew she was right. She really had done everything that she would have been allowed to to. If and when I can start seeing her again, you bet I will.

    I know that with fibromyalgia and myofascial pain disorder there is generally an underlying cause. I’ll keep searching for that cause, but I’m thankful that she gave me somewhere to start my search.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *