With a chronic illness, there is no cure. It is all about treating the symptoms and learning to live life with it. It’s like an enemy you can’t get rid of. Its hard to cope with at times. For me, I was working, in college, and training for a half marathon, and one day it hit me like a truck. Within 2 days I was in the hospital. So going from constantly on the go and enjoying a normal 20 year old life to daily appointments, constantly miserable, and not being able to take care of myself alone. Its normal to have grieving stages while being sick, here are ways I grieve with having several chronic illnesses.
- The anger phase.
Its okay to be angry, I completely understand this phase. I’ve lost a lot like my job, a lot of people in my life disappeared, and I can’t do a lot of things that truly make me happy because of my illnesses. My life consists of laying on the couch and doctors appointments. I am angry. There’s a lot of things I wish I could change. I can be mad at the world for the rest of my life or I can be mad for a few days and then pick myself up and fight to get my life back to a new normal. Its okay to have an anger phase, everyone does, but don’t stop at this phase. Keep moving and don’t give up. You deserve to have as good of a life as the next person.
- The reminiscing phase.
Its normal to sit and think I miss the old me, or I wish I could do everything I used to be able to do. With a chronic illness, it changes your life. There are things you will never be able to do, unfortunately. Its okay to think about the past and miss it, but that’s the past. Its important to live in the present and continue to push forward to make new memories.
- The regret stage.
When you can’t do certain things or you become chronically ill, you wish you would have accomplished way more than you have in life. It’s also common to create a bucket list to complete when you are well again. This is because when you are ill, you realize how precious life is. The regret comes from a place of not wanting to die without doing things you couldn’t do when you had the chance. Its okay to have goals but don’t have regrets. You may have circumstances but don’t forget to live life to the fullest.
- The why me stage.
I go through this one a lot. When you are chronically ill you wonder why me? Why do I have to suffer? What did I do to deserve this? I am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. I think anyone going through a hard time has a bigger plan. I think whatever you are going through will only make you stronger. So please, don’t give up keep fighting. According to my all time favorite quote – “You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.”- Ain Eineziz
- The acceptance stage.
There comes a time when you accept your illness. I can sit here and discuss all the bad my illnesses have brought me, but there’s also the good it’s brought me. I am a stronger person, I have discovered new passions that I wouldn’t have without being ill, and I have new friends. As much as I despise my illnesses I am also grateful.
Life hands you arduous trials and at times you feel like you want to give up, please don’t. It’s okay to grieve, I did and still do. I have my grieve stages for dealing with several chronic illnesses such as: the anger phase, the reminiscing phase, the regret stage, the why me stage, and the acceptance stage. But after you grieve, pick yourself back up and fight. You deserve to live as good as a life as the next person. Remember, to keep moving and don’t give up.