With a life changing illness comes an emotional rollercoaster. Often illnesses are accompanied with depression or anxiety. With emotional health and physical health you will have your good days, your bad days, and your really bad days. It’s always nice to see family and friends but we all hear things that we don’t want to hear as someone who fights a daily battle, whether it’s something said without the other person thinking or if it’s said without them really understanding what you are going through. Here is a list of things people with illnesses don’t exactly want to hear.
- Are you ever going to get better?
Seems a little harsh when you have an incurable illness, right? I have heard this one believe it or not. When you are ill, you wish nothing more than anything to feel better. When you are doing everything possible and working your booty off to get better, I must say it’s pretty irritating to hear this statement.
- Are you ever going to get out of bed or out of the house?
When you are ill and you’re in severe pain to the point that you’re irritable and feel like your body was pummeled by a bus, I must admit it is a continuous battle to pick yourself up. There are days when your joints ache, head is pounding and no matter how much you convince yourself to stand up and get out of bed you just can’t. This question is always irritating because you don’t want to appear like a slacker but you also don’t want to explain yourself daily to other people. So just let us sleep and dont interrogate us.
- I don’t understand how you are so sick all of a sudden.
With an illness, you could be persistently on the go and then all of a sudden you’re laying in a hospital bed. The illness can come on suddenly and hit you like a ton of bricks. Some people can’t articulate how one day you are healthy and the next you are extremely sick. It can be grueling to wrap your brain around it, however, for a ill person we know we are sick, but we don’t want to feel like we are being questioned on how sick we are.
- You dont look sick.
Every illness effects people differently. One person usually doesn’t have the same symptoms as someone else. Some chronic illnesses don’t necessarily make a person “look sick”. Just because a person doesn’t look sick doesn’t mean they aren’t. It is also common for an ill person to kind of hide symptoms around friends and family to make it seem less severe. It sometimes can be easier to put on an act that you are okay and then let it all go when you’re with people you are comfortable with or alone. But when people make this comment it seems like they don’t believe you when you say you’re sick. It can come off a little rude to someone who is suffering.
- You’re skipping plans again, are we ever going to hangout?
I’ve learned being ill, it’s okay to say no once and a while. If you push too hard for one day, you could be out 5 days recovering. Your health is essential, and it’s crucial to listen to your body. If you are miserable and in pain then it’s okay to say no. Your friends or family will understand. But when we say no to plans most people who are ill feel bad cancelling, and when someone says this statement, it makes us feel like we flake all the time. We aren’t playing hookie, we cancel because our bodys’ say cancel.
It is essential to think before you say something. If you did, you would understand that we are suffering and we are irritable when it comes to what you say to us. An illness is a life changing situation and unfortunately it severely changes our social life. It is important for our friends and family to be patient and sensitive towards our well-being. It is crucial for us to lift each others spirits, especially during rough times. We all need to stick together.
*Disclaimer, I am not here to diagnose, treat, or cure. I am just here to give you tips and ideas that hopefully will help make this difficult time a little easier.*